The Hardest Beginning

“It felt as though a complete and utter maelstrom has taken root,” the voice murmured, carrying the weary weight of a relentless storm.

“I cannot fathom what you mean by that …. what exactly is caught within this swirling tide?” the other asked gently, leaning closer to bridge the sudden distance between them.

“My own mind is entirely consumed by it …. a chaotic vortex where my quietest thoughts simply drown.

Absolutely nothing in this world remains as it appears to be …. an intense and restless yearning is steadily overtaking my spirit, demanding that I belong somewhere else entirely, yet without a map to guide my steps, I am paralyzed and cannot go.”

“Have you attempted to untangle this quiet desperation by writing it down?”

“I have not even tried …. for I cannot possibly write about an ache that I am utterly unable to name.”

“You must begin simply with the heavy truth of how it feels upon your heart …. the proper name for your destination will always reveal itself later.”

“You speak of these deeply tangled matters as though they require no effort at all, making the impossible sound so deceivingly easy.”

“Sometimes the most profound journeys truly are that simple …. it is merely the courage required for the beginning that always proves to be the hardest part.”

“But how am I to recognize what that beginning even looks like when my vision is still so clouded?”

“That is a truth you will not ever know until you take a breath and finally start.”

“Will you stay by my side and help me find the way?”

“Write, ‘I thought’…..then the rest will follow.”

And so I surrender myself to the page and finally write, “I thought it felt as though a complete and utter maelstrom has taken root…”

This is the inescapable reality of my quiet life as a writer …. standing completely vulnerable at the edge of an unmapped maelstrom and trusting that the simple act of putting pen to paper will eventually guide me through the storm.
Abbie Shores